Essay feedback example

Our software can speed up grading times by scanning essays and providing feedback based on grading criteria. We are also able to provide an estimated grade for each grading criteria and an overall grade for the essay.


Hook (3 points): The essay begins with an engaging and attention-grabbing hook that effectively draws the reader in. The use of humor and self-deprecation adds a personal touch to the introduction. However, the hook could be more directly related to the topic of the essay.

Idea Development (3 points): The essay effectively develops the idea of the challenges and obstacles the writer faces in pursuing education at the mentioned school. The writer presents personal experiences and reflections, providing a clear and coherent narrative. However, the essay could benefit from more specific examples and evidence to support the writer's claims.

Organization (3 points): The essay follows a clear structure, with distinct paragraphs and transitions between ideas. However, the organization could be improved by providing a more explicit introduction and conclusion to tie the essay together.

Voice (3 points): The writer's voice is distinct and engaging, effectively conveying the writer's personality and perspective. The use of humor and personal anecdotes adds depth to the essay. However, the voice could be further refined to maintain a consistent tone throughout the essay.

Sensory Details (3 points): The essay includes sensory details to create vivid imagery and engage the reader. The descriptions of the campus tour effectively evoke a sense of place. However, the essay could benefit from more sensory details to enhance the reader's experience.

Sentence Structure (3 points): The essay demonstrates varied sentence structures, contributing to the overall flow and readability. However, there are instances where the sentence structure could be further refined for clarity and coherence.


  • Provide a more direct and relevant hook that explicitly connects to the theme of overcoming obstacles in pursuing education.
  • Include specific examples and evidence to support the writer's experiences and reflections, adding depth to the essay's idea development.
  • Strengthen the organization by framing the essay with a clear introduction and conclusion to provide a cohesive structure.
  • Maintain a consistent voice throughout the essay, ensuring that the tone aligns with the intended message and theme.
  • Choose precise and impactful word choices to enhance the overall impact of the essay's language.
  • Incorporate additional sensory details to create a more immersive and engaging reading experience for the audience.
  • Craft a more impactful and memorable closing statement that leaves a lasting impression on the reader.
  • Frame the essay with a formal introduction and conclusion to provide a clear structure and context for the content.
  • Refine the sentence structure for clarity and coherence, ensuring that each sentence contributes to the overall flow of the essay.
  • Strengthen the use of topic sentences to guide the reader through each paragraph and enhance the overall organization.

Overall grade: B-

Conclusion: The essay effectively conveys the writer's personal experiences and reflections on the challenges of pursuing education, demonstrating a strong voice and engaging narrative. However, there are opportunities to enhance the essay's impact through more specific examples, refined organization, and a more cohesive structure. With improvements in idea development, organization, and language precision, the essay has the potential to achieve a higher grade and leave a stronger impression on the reader.

Original essay by Dennard Dayle

My greatest obstacle? After sixteen years on a dying planet, it’s definitely this essay. I’ve never felt smaller or more alone. The typos that Google Docs catches (or adds) will define the rest of my life. And Google thinks my name’s an error, so I’m not optimistic.

I’ve stared at a blank page for two weeks, after countless false starts about a made-up drug addiction and a math class I found difficult. Each felt like more of a bald lie than the last. So I’ll try honesty: this essay is killing me. Writing it is like typing on a keyboard made of knives.

When do the measurements of my worth end? I don’t have any standardized aptitude left to test. Why repeat the dance over and over again? We both know how this works. My rank’s below rich kids, and above Thomas Jefferson’s descendants.

But I’m writing anyway, because [School] has been my dream ever since Mom told me it was my dream. I was skeptical at first, since Twitter talks a lot about élite overproduction. After some digging, though, I discovered that that idea’s a scam to keep me poor. Much like [School]. It’s a bit of a lose-lose (money), so I’ve decided to keep Mom happy.

I took a campus tour to imbue my begging with a personal touch. Here are some descriptive details: the beer was cheap, the weed was expensive, and the sky was beautiful. I’ll remember that royal blue every time I think about my debt.

[School]’s work-study program presented a glimmer of hope for avoiding loan sharks. Then I learned that the student workers went on strike last year, and now they look broken. I’m already dead-eyed, so that wouldn’t be a huge change. But I’m guessing an incoming fast-food robot is cheaper, so the entire point is probably moot.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m still planning on attending [School]. I’d like to understand the news and have a job adjacent to dignity. [School] holds the keys to both, and the connections to exploit them. I’ll just have to moonlight in organized crime.

I can’t say that this obstacle has taught me much. This is my third written defense of my humanity this year. And, between job hunting, dating, and safety-school applications, it won’t be my last. I just hope that kowtowing gets easier with practice. Humans are born with a lot of pride, and it takes work to bury the last scraps of it.

As for overcoming the obstacle, I haven’t. Even after I finish this essay, new prompts will haunt my siblings, neighbors, and offspring. The climate apocalypse offered humanity a rare chance to escape the admissions process. But some thoughtless engineers in Switzerland have cracked carbon capture, a half-measure allowing mankind to continue to limp along. We’re stuck.

If [School] gives me a chance, I’ll study economics. Then it’s a small step to consulting and the board of an oil company. There I will dedicate myself to finally snuffing out the light of human civilization, and take down admissions with it. With education, everything is possible.